Here’s how the house I’m staying in was built:

“Say, this house is pretty nice.”
“Thanks!”
“But I’m having problems with the doors.”
“The doors?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s the problem?”
“I was wondering. Could you make the doors the loudest doors in the universe?”
“I don’t follow.”
“Like, if it’s one in the morning and you’ve gotta go to your car while everyone is sleeping, I want a bedroom door and the front door to get into a door fight over which one of them can most sound like a tornado made out of diseased cats ripping through a factory of pan flutes and rusted springs.”
“Dude, that’s why I went to college.”

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