Hey, I’m gonna grow some bangs for some purpose other than Aqua-Netting them up in a Jersey homage.

Here, let me just cut my hair in a way that let’s you know I have what I believe is a unique insecurity about my totally proportionally normal forehead and that I will argue and get upset about it and never stop hiding it even though it makes it look like I’m wearing a mustache over my eyes so thick that my forehead’s about to say, IT’S-A ME, MARIO! I’MA GONNA WEEN A BOYFRIEND.