Hey, here’s a free goldmine for you, ESPN:

1. Line up a hot chick sabermetrician to appear regularly on Baseball Tonight.

2. Start an ad campaign about “ESPN Baseball: Your Best Friend.”

3. Start promoting the girl sabermetrician to The Cars’ “Best Friend’s Girl,” and whenever the line “I kinda like the way she dips” comes up, flash: “DIPS: DEFENSE INDEPENDENT PITCHING STATISTICS.”

4. Have her murder John Kruk.

5. Every baseball nerd in America will watch your show.

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