Sean Connery’s the most frightening thing you could hear on ‘The X-Files.’

I mean, there you are, sitting in the dark, and the credits are doing their

duh-duh duh-duh duh

duh-duh duh-duh duh

dah! dah! dah!

wah wah wah wah wah wah

thing, while that hand has a glowing finger bone, and a guy’s head screams and then goes all sideways and kinda Gumby on him, and that weird snail thing in a hood gets a huge face boner made out of snot, and then, out of the blue:

“Ach! What’sh thish? Paranorrrmal Ocktivity?

Eh, errrr, government deniesh nollech.”