It’s Fun When People Announce They’re Launching into the ‘Game of Thrones’ Books

Leaving aside how George R.R. Martin is a creepy weirdo who writes with obsessive detail about child rape and breast mutilation, you’re gonna spend days of your life reading a series from a 64-year-old obese gnome who took nearly seven years to write the last book and abandons the project to write whole other books entirely.

Now, obviously, a lot of entertainment is a fun waste of time—albeit without slicing off tits or Rand-like raping of little girls to teach them to like sex—but if you think you’re going to reach the end of that series before life reaches the end of George R. R. Martin, I got four words for ya: HEART DISEASE IS COMING.